βHow can I connect more deeply with my own body during sex?β
I love this question that I was asked recently.
How can we connect more deeply with our body during love-making, because ultimately if we want to experience the pleasure within when intimate with another, it starts from here.
From relationship with self.
The number one way to connect with your body more during sex is simple! Connect more with your body outside of sex, because how we approach life is how we approach sex.
Devotion to self daily, so that checking in with our embodiment and energy becomes a habit.
That could look like starting the day with journaling, breathwork, and stepping outside to connect with the Earth.
That could look like implementing herbs into your day, specifically those that aid in nervous system balancing and adaptogens like reishi, holy basil, and chamomile.
That could look like traditional meditation, dance, yoga, sports, stillness and sensuality simply through tapping into your senses.
NOW we can start to connect deeper with our own body during sex, and this could look like:
1. Slowing down and checking in with our breath during 2. Utilizing the breath to send energy to various parts of the body (from head to heart, from yoni or cock throughout the limbs, etc.) 3. Speaking out loud, communicating, and moaning from deep within to open up the channel between throat, heart, and yoni or cock 4. Touching yourself during...not letting your partner only do the touching. This could mean the actual pleasure aspect OR just gently touching parts of your body during the love-making to come deeper into the now 5. HONOR YOUR BODY. If sometimes hurts you (or them), stop. Slow down. If something is speaking and wants more, give it that.
Let me know if this helps you!
And remember, pleasure with another begins with presence with yourself.
The advice: βIf they cum and you donβt, they donβt care about youβ or βYouβre abandoning yourselfβ is total bullshit.
Because this simply isnβt how the cycle of giving and receiving works. This is scarcity mindset, acting under the assumption that love and the physical expression of love is finite.
No. Love is infinite and overflowing.
(Plus there will be plenty of moments where you might orgasm and they donβt, or you both orgasm, or neither of you do. And thatβs 100% okay. Itβs a play, itβs not a competition or a performance.)
There are many ways one can surrender. As a feminine woman, surrendering in total service to the masculine is a breath of fresh air. A weight lifted off the shoulders. A container to simply radiate my love into.
Itβs the feeling of letting go of myself, to be me for the pleasure of my lover, in whatever ways they desire.
This isnβt something that is necessarily easy, if the masculine is not showing up with presence and safety in order to hold the feminine in trust.
But when it happens, mmmmm. Delicious.
See, sometimes surrender asks us to release expectations and fears regarding our own body and experience of pleasure, in order to tend to ourself and our potential in moments of intimacy.
This is a wild, deep unfolding as well.
Sometimes surrender is about stepping deeper into our authentic desires.
Sometimes itβs an act of trust, to HEALTHILY abandon ourselves for a moment of time, in service to another.
And simultaneously, being filled so fully in the process, our feminine heart overflowing with the masculineβs ability to take control of his own authentic desires as well.